If you are worried about the Y2K bug, let me put your mind at ease. My qualifications on this matter are no less than being an official scholar, historian, programmer, scientist, pilot, author, and time traveller.

This Y2K bug will supposedly destroy the world because the millenium or century is changing and our computers will all fail. Many companies are spending millions of dollars checking all their computers and software for this bug. They are wasting their time and I am about to tell you why.

The century and millenium do not change in the year 2000. They change in the year 2001. The year 2000 is still in this century and this millenium. Look it up if you want. Any scientist or professor will tell you I am right.

Webscape® will make no attempt to check its computers before the year 2000. Then we will check them, and do what is necessary. The same of course holds true for the Webscape® Internet™ Browser™, if in fact it is shipping at that time. I personally guarantee to you that Webscape® will not lift a finger to solve the Y2K bug until January 1, 2000.

I'm not stupid.

There has been much talk of missed ship dates these days. Microsoft's Windows 3000, for example, was supposed to have been finished this year, but it wasn't. Webscape, like many companies, must plan its technology purchases weeks, sometimes months, in advance. Gone are the days when a young technician, such as I used to be, would walk into the store, buy a copy of Netware 3.8, and install it on all the PC's in the office.

When we heard the news that Webscape® Internet™ Browser™ version 5.72 was not going to make it out the door by the end of the year, activity in the corporate headquarters came to a halt, except for the programming team's Quake server. We had certainly been hopeful. Too hopeful, it turns out.

I am making my New Year's resolution now (although it will not apply until the new year, contact me for the official details). No more missed ship dates! WIB 5.72 (as we hackers call it) will ship by August 14, 1999 in whatever form it is. I will personally see to it. As Webscape® President and CEO, I can do no less.

When hiring the best programmers for a job, it is important to be able to determine the difference between reality and cooked-up lies. It is a task I have struggled with my whole life. This task presented a challenge of sorts to our Human Resources department.

Our Human Resources staff has been placed in multi-million dollar training programs designed to help them come to a better understanding of the Computer™ industry. Many of them now work their own Computers™, and one is teaching me. We still keep all our customer records on index cards, but these too will be Computerized™ shortly after the programming team finishes its latest project, the new Webscape® Screen Saver™. In this futuristic brave new world, we will actually be able to look up customers on the Computer™, and by waiting at one's desk for fifteen minutes, one will be treated to the highly entertaining image of a little floating Webscape® logo!

But back to the subject of interviewing the several job applicants that come into the Webscape® offices annually. I personally interview each one to ensure that only the best come to work for Webscape®. If any applicant fails to answer the questions to my satisfaction, I ask him to come in at a later date and interview again. Within a few months, the applicant can answer every question correctly and passes the interview with flying colors. Then Human Resources begins to record his behavior on the job, and these reports are filed away in one of our many cabinets, where they are kept under lock and key until such time as our legal staff has need to peruse them.

As of week 15 on the Webscape® Screen Saver™ project, our 50-man team of programmers has already reached final beta-testing. To reward these highly skilled workers, we'll be honoring the department manager at a special private gathering in the executive offices. This will be followed by a brief ceremony, held near the time-clocks, that select non-management employees are allowed to attend.

And don't worry, soon we'll resume work on version 5.72 of the Webscape® Internet™ Browser™. With a great deal of luck, we'll meet our rescheduled Q4 1998 deadline.

That's our goal. That's the Webscape® promise.